No Theme, Just Fate
by nericearren
Summary: His lips are cold. Why are they cold? Blood, red and hot, on my hands, running down his face. Eyes, hazel, brilliant, sliding closed. And there's nothing left but me, sobbing over a corpse. [ErzaXJellal oneshot, with happy ending, I promise].


His lips are cold.

Why are they cold?

Blood, red and hot, on my hands, running down his face.

Eyes, hazel, brilliant, sliding closed.

And there's nothing left but me, sobbing over a corpse.

"NO!" I wake up sitting, my arms outstretched towards a being who isn't there. "No." I repeat, more quietly, panting, waiting for the panic to subside, for my mind to process that it was all just a dream. And then I sob, "Jellal.", and clamp a hand over my mouth. I don't dare lay back down, for fear that my own tears might drown me. Instead I get up, padding over the cold wooden floor on sleepy feet, the moonlight from my shadeless window drifting over my legs as I make my way to the kitchen and brew a cup of tea.

The spices and warmth ease my temporary terror, but do nothing to thaw the chill that has seized me by the head and will not let go. Jellal is going to die.

I wrap my arms around myself as the awful fact finally and truly hits home. Jellal is going to die and there's nothing I can do. Jellal is going to die and I _don't want him to_. I gulp, huge, gasping, throbbing breaths that jerk in my throat and leave me more in want for air than ever. I think I'm having some kind of panic attack, but my mind is clear as my body convulses, my knees give way and I fall to the floor, leaning against the cupboards and hugging my knees to my chest. "Jellal, Jellal, Jellal." I mutter his name like an incantation. After everything we've been through, everything that's happened-all that we endured while fruitlessly trying to reach each other-how can it just end like this? How can he want it to end like this?

"How can you just accept it?" I moan, but I know. I know how he can, because I know him as I know myself, and I would not want any breaks or exceptions. I wouldn't want grace; I would want to honorably face my punishment. And that was why I had let him go, had not raged and fought and taken out every bastard and son of a bastard who had tried to lay hands on him; it was what he wanted, so I let him go.

But it was _not_ what I wanted.

Even when all else was gone, _she_ remained.

I have paced my small cell so many times, I have it measured by heart-two strides wide, three strides long. It is not the worst place a person could be held-I even have one of those truly stereotypical barred windows, which looks out over the city and the long, thirty-to-forty-feet drop to the ground. I am being held prisoner in a tower, and the fact that I find that amusing enough to laugh is a testament to how _boring_ it is here. Of course, I am bound for death row, so to expect entertainment is naive, bordering on stupid.

I don't pace today, just sit on my mattress on the floor and think about more creative ways that a person could be held captive. Maybe tied up in Silly String and hung from the ceiling; or strapped to a roller coaster that never stopped, just went around and around and around. I bet Natsu would _love_ that one, and that makes me laugh, too, and I know the guard outside my cell door must think I'm crazy and I probably am, a little, but it's hard because a lot of the time it feels as though there are two people inside my head. There's the Jellal that built the Tower of Heaven and resented the whole world and was more than just _a little_ crazy; and there's the Jellal that loved Erza, that exiled her because he loved her so much, that could only remember her name when nothing else remained. The two don't often agree on many things, such as captivity in this eventless cell. Ruthless Jellal says to blast our way free and get the hell out of Dodge; Wimpy Jellal says to do the right thing and accept the Magic Council's justice.

I haven't, presently, decided which one to listen to, which is why I know the paces of my cell by heart. It would actually be easy to break free, now that my power is restored; though the binding spells around this place might give me pause long enough to be overtaken. This would be easily remedied by killing all of my guards-but even Ruthless Jellal is hesitant to take such an action. Deep down, I am only one person, after all, and though I'm of two minds about many things, taking innocent lives is not one of them.

My thoughts are interrupted by the creak and groan of the heavy door to my cell opening. A guard-one that I don't know by face or name-looks in and gruffly informs me that I have a visitor. I didn't know I was even allowed visitors, nevermind that there was anyone who wanted to visit me. The guard disappears and-

-and she comes in.

My breath catches in my throat-I can't help it-and for once there are no warring factions in my head, just one joyous thought as I get to my feet and speak it-"Erza!"

She flies to me, moving too quickly for me to see her face, and her arms are around me before I know what hit. The force throws us both back onto the bed, and I wrap my arms tightly around her.

She's _here_. With _me_. It's almost enough to make me smile, but what slams into me then, hard enough to take my breath away completely, is the _need_ I feel-the _longing_. It isn't enough to just be here; it isn't enough to just love her right now. Even though she's real and solid in my arms and my feelings are light enough to fly away; it's not _enough_. I squeeze my eyes shut, and hug her against me even closer, our hearts separated only by our thin skins, both of us sprawled awkwardly about but not wanting to move. I want a whole lifetime of these memories, not just a few snatched moments in a puny and unoriginal cell.

But these moments, they're all we have. Maybe they're all we'll ever have.

And then she speaks, and I know that I'm wrong. That the life I want is just within reach, if I'll just seize it with as much force as I seized the scarlet-haired hurricane in my arms. It's just one word, a tiny, innocuous one; but it means the world to me.

"Tonight."


End file.
